The Long and Winding Road to Parenthood

Dr. appointments and Insurance

2011-03-18T19:39:00.000-07:00

We had our first fertility doctor's visit on a Thursday. I was excited and nervous all at the same time. Luckily, I am familiar with the doctor and I love her, so that made things a bit easier. She was very positive and had a great plan.

Since my major issue, as far as we know is the lack of a monthly cycle and ovulation the doctor came up with a plan of progesterone and clomid. This is a pretty standard plan of action. She also said that my hubby needed to give a semen sample. She also shared that she had taken clomid as well.

The doctor went over the possible affects of the drug, which the major one is an increased chance for multiples. Which the possibility is only doubled from 4 to 5% up to 8-9%, so I'm ok with those odds. When we left the doctor said she was looking forward to a spring pregnancy.

I was on top of the world and so excited to get started. At this point it is the only way we are going to have a baby. With no ovulation I cannot get pregnant naturally.

The very next day all of my happiness and excitement was shattered when I found out that my insurance will not pay for anything and that we are going to have to pay out of pocket for everything. This was a huge shock. I was crushed. I had no clue how we were going to make this happen. I was at work and I ended up breaking down and bawling my eyes out.

In less then 24 hours I went from being on cloud 9 to having my world turned upside down. This is where our road to pregnancy got even longer and way more complicated.

Like anything else, I to would rise above this. . .

Pregnant Friends

2011-03-16T19:00:00.000-07:00

I the midst of coming to the realization that my baby dreams my not be coming true, I find out that one of my best friends (who is 4 years younger then me) is pregnant. I was absolutely thrilled and happy for her and her husband, I love babies and any baby is better then no baby. But, I would be lying if I said that it didn't hurt. . .because it did I was crushed.

It turns out that her pregnancy was very rough early on and the sickness pretty much consumed her. I felt very bad for her, but at the same time I would have begged to be in her spot. During this time I was gearing up for my first fertility appointment.

This has been difficult for me. . .She is now further along and is doing well. . .we are now both enjoying her pregnancy and are looking forward to a baby boy this August. It is trying times like this that make people stronger.

The journey begins. . .

2011-03-10T19:44:00.000-08:00

Most couples do not even have to think twice when they decide to start a family. Most come to a decision, do the deed. . .maybe it takes a few months, but then they are pregnant and preparing to welcome a bundle of joy into the world.

Well, that explains most, but not all couples. The ones who don't fit into the "norm" are those who are in the same boat as myself and my husband. We made the decision to start a family, but for us that was the easy part and thus or long and winding road to parenthood started.

My husband deployed to Afghanistan in 2008 and returned home in 2009. Once he had been home for a while and I was nearly finished with my Master's degree we decided that it was time to expand our family. I never in a million years thought that I would have trouble having a baby, but a few months into things this nightmare became a reality.

After trying to conceive for several months and not having a monthly cycle for 4 of those months, my doctor decided that we were not going to be able to do this on our own. Since I had not had a monthly cycle for so long, we got to skip the normal year waiting period to start fertility treatments.

It is very difficult to not feel like a failure and like I wasn't letting my husband down. Luckily my husband is amazing and he is in this 100% with me and never lets me get down on myself.

If I would have known that all of this would have been the easy parts of becoming a parent, I would have told you were crazy! This was all the easy part. Since I have had to deal with insurance (or lack there of), feeling like an out cast and so much more. But, I will save something for next time.

My hopes for starting this blog is to be able to speak out about infertility and hopefully to help someone not feel the way that I have felt.